gogogogo

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did

You see, if you think back really hard, you might vaguely remember a platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the other guy that you were fucking treated you. At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around and trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was admittedly a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were just friends. Besides, he totally wasn't your type. He was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.
Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

The thing I hate about women and their "flirting" is that they consider taking the first step to be something subtle that whomever they are attempting to court will immediately notice and find attractive, to the point of asking them out. "I got a spiral perm at the salon" and "I got my nails done" do not count as a first step. Nobody. Fucking. Cares. I hear this shit from some of my female friends a lot of the time. It is bullshit-actually get off your ass and do something. I don't know about the rest of /b/, but I find someone who can have an intelligent conversation much more attractive than someone who has sparkly nails and some eyeliner.

"The Week" , as it has been called, may very well be an excuse for a woman being in pain, possibly to the point of crying. It is NOT, however, a reason to be angry at a guy for no other reason. That is absolute shit. Even worse is the fact that women hitting men is "acceptable". There is no issue of the guy growing a spine balls or whatever when his woman decides to bitch at him, whether he knows it or not. If he did any spine growing, he'd punch her in the goddamned face. The girl should shut the fuck up, because it is nobody's fault but hers. "Feeling bad afterwards" is no excuse for such intolerable behavior. When men say women are irrational, this is the kind of shit that feeds it.

These aren't specific to one or two females either. EVERY female I have gotten to know is like this. All of them, to some degree (though some more than others) are irrational in thought and action. And then they complain about the results...

Any woman I'd bother to spend time with would have to be someone that i respect enough to treat well (which is exactly why i never treated you well, Maddie).

I seriously hate the sheer amount of time women waste on their looks, especially women who bitch that all we care about are their looks and not their personalities. Well, if your favorite activity wasn't shopping, and you actually did something more interesting than your hair and nails this week, we might be able to judge you by something other than your looks, and if you had half the confidence and assertiveness that you demand out of a potential mate you'd find a hell of a lot more of them who don't care about your looks. And if women don't want to be judged on their looks, why do they spend so much time catering to men who care about their looks instead of growing a fucking personality?

Seriously, any time I'm talking to a girl, or reading her profile, and she lists shopping as one of her interests, any chance I had of being attracted to her is instantly gone. Shopping is something you do to get things you need. It is not a sport or a game or a hobby and anyone who treats it as such is a fucking whore.

Women say they want romance.
Women want men to say and do outlandish things for them. They want men to spend most of their disposable income on trinkets and fancy dinners. They want men to want to spend as much time with them as possible.
Women do not want romance. Men are not supposed to be romantic, and men who are kind, honest, and giving are either creepy, effeminate, or ‘smothering.’ Romance is a once-in-a-while thing, mostly reserved for birthdays and anniversaries.
Women say they want a nice guy. A woman wants a man she can trust, one who respects and values her as a person.
Women do not want nice guys. Kindness and loyalty are what friends are for. From men they want excitement and strength. A kind, caring man is weak and not to be respected.

“If I’m not bitching about my boyfriend,” said one woman to me, “he’s never going to last.”

Women say they want commitment. Sex is not just an in-the-moment thing, for women think ahead and are always sizing men up as potential life partners and fathers, and they prefer a man who is going to be there for her.
Women do not want commitment. Any man who wants commitment is either weak and smothering, or is simply trying to gain access to her money. Real men must be wild, and then tamed.
Women say "No means no". If she declines your advances, she’s not interested and you should let her be.
No means maybe. She declines his advances because she wants to see if his interest is serious and he is willing to “fight” for her.
Women say they prefer intelligent men. Because why would anyone want to deal with a moron?
Women do not prefer intelligent men. Stupid men are easier to control and less likely to get away with sneakiness.
Women say they prefer sensitive men. A man who is in touch with his emotions and sensitive to the feelings of others is a real keeper. (This is generally said by a married woman whose husband is a jerk.)
Women dislike sensitive men. A sensitive man is like a girlfriend. He can be a good shoulder to cry on, but is not relationship material.

I MEAN SERIOUSLY

the 6 months where me and Cat were friends after our break up went exactly like this:

"I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my
problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really
see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy
this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing
you want.

Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always
do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and
you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me bitch about work
or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you
could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my
eyes, if only once—would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it
would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just… you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately
want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around
a little and finally validate the 6 months you've spent
languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back
to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I
can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much
to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.

Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.

Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us, US.

Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what I'll be.

Best friends.

Friends forever.


But hey, since you read all of that, there IS a male version of the friend zone. its called being "one of the guys". which in actuality implies an affection towards that woman because she lacks most of the qualities, outwardly, that make her a woman.